So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
