just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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