I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
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You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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