My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
