Pappa wants mamma naked
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize