How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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