there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
