ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
