Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
