Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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