Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize