Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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