I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
