I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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