drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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