Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I need a hoe opinion
go on
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
