Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
