Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
What drink are we having for lunch?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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