Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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