SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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