We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
