Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
