The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
