We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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