dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
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