did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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