Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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