ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
