trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
