we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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