Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Randomize
