So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Randomize
