i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Found your dick twin last night
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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