I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
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