I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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