Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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