There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Every concussion has its silver lining
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
