Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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