Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
did you just send me my own nude
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
