Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
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