i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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