Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
