Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
