craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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