You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
