...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
