Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize