bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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