It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
