i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
