...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
