Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
