it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I want to have your abortion
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
