dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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