I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
