Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
