so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
