Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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